10 Completely Valid, Totally Reasonable Excuses for Being Late (That HR Should Honestly Thank Me For)
Look, punctuality is a social construct—like adulthood, or pants. If you’ve ever stumbled into work with your hoodie inside out and a granola bar stuck to your sock, you know mornings aren’t a time—they’re a trap.
So next time you’re late, don’t mutter something bland about “traffic.” Show up with one of these airtight, completely logical excuses that say:
“I’m not unprofessional, I’m just cosmically challenged.”
1. “I was late trying to think of an excuse to call in sick.”
This is the Inception of excuses. It’s not just an excuse—it’s the excuse about an excuse. It shows you tried to lie but had too much integrity to go through with it, so you just stalled until being late was the truth. Growth!
🔗 For related drama: I'm Sick of This
2. “I got stuck in an elevator with a mime. And ended up having a delightful conversation.”
Was it weird? Yes. Did he open up about his estranged brother who became a ventriloquist? Also yes. You bonded. There were invisible walls and emotional ones.
3. “I had to chase my pet turtle who escaped.”
Never underestimate Harold. He moves like molasses with purpose. You turned around for one second and he was halfway to TGI Friday’s, dreaming of freedom. This wasn’t tardiness—it was a rescue mission.
4. “I was abducted by aliens, but they returned me because I wouldn’t stop asking about the anal probe.”
They said, “You ask too many questions,” like that was my fault. Honestly, they were kind of rude. No snacks, no tour, just vibes and resentment.
5. “I accidentally put my clothes on inside out and had to go back home to change.”
It wasn’t embarrassment—it was logistics. My pants were a scarf. It was less of a fashion statement and more of a cry for help.
🔗 See: Morning Rush Fashion
6. “I was trying to catch a Pikachu in my backyard.”
Yes, still. In 2025. Look, you don’t choose when the Pokémon appear. You rise to the challenge. You sprint past the compost bin and dive through a rosebush for honor.
7. “My alarm clock was on strike, and I had to get my pillow to mediate.”
You tried to reset it, but it filed a grievance. Your pillow took a nap halfway through the negotiation. We all lost, especially your punctuality.
8. “I got lost in my own neighborhood.”
Every house has beige siding. Every mailbox is passive-aggressively similar. You waved at your own reflection in a sliding door for 10 minutes before realizing—you were on your own porch.
9. “I was waiting for my coffee to brew, and it took forever.”
It knew I was late and chose to judge me. The machine blinked at me like, “Maybe you shouldn’t have watched six hours of Vine compilations last night.” Don’t gaslight me, Cuisinart.
10. “I couldn’t find my phone because I was using it as a flashlight to look for it.”
This is less an excuse and more a spiritual experience. You never feel dumber and more betrayed than when you realize your phone helped you search for itself. That’s betrayal. That’s growth. That’s... why you’re still in the driveway.
Final Thoughts
Some people are late because of traffic. Others are late because of aliens, escaped turtles, and existential coffee machines. Be that person. Be memorable. Be the kind of late that makes HR write a Slack message in lowercase.
And if you’re still worried about how this all plays at work, just remember:
Punctuality is temporary. But good stories? Those are forever.
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