Top 10 Traits to Vet in Your Next Imaginary Best Friend

1. Master of Invisibility:
Because if they can’t vanish on command, they’ll hog space on your imaginary couch (and crash your movie marathons).

2. Snack-Connoisseur Credentials:

Must appreciate your midnight cereal choices and never judge the 3-day-old pizza crust in your fridge.

3. Alibi Architect:

Ready with a bulletproof back-story when you’re late to work because “traffic was a snail parade.”

4. Emoji Fluency:

Can decipher your cryptic text of “😂🤔🥴” and respond appropriately—bonus points for custom emoji creation.

5. Selective Memory:

Remembers your birthday, but conveniently forgets that time you ate all the ice cream (again).

6. Meme-Approval Rating: 11/10

Keeps your group chat lit by dropping the perfect reaction GIF before you even know you need one.

7. Judgment Suspension Valve:

Able to listen to your “I’m definitely not starting a punk-rock kazoo band” pitch without side-eye.

8. Teleportation License:

Can fetch your lost remote (or will admit defeat so you stop tearing the couch apart).

9. Existential Crisis Coach:

Offers pithy comebacks when you hit 2 AM “What’s the meaning of life?” territory.

10. High-Quality Laugh Track:

Stocked with dad jokes, puns, and the occasional snort—guaranteed to mend any Monday-morning blues.

Carllrac