Top 10 Traits to Vet in Your Next Imaginary Best Friend

1. Master of Invisibility: Because if they can’t vanish on command, they’ll hog space on your imaginary couch (and crash your movie marathons). 2. Snack-Connoisseur Credentials: Must appreciate your midnight cereal choices and never judge the 3-day-old pizza crust in your fridge. 3. Alibi Architect: Ready with a bulletproof back-story when you’re late to work because “traffic was a snail parade.” 4. Emoji Fluency: Can decipher your cryptic text of “😂🤔🥴” and respond appropriately—bonus points for custom emoji creation. 5. Selective Memory: Remembers your birthday, but conveniently forgets that time you ate all the ice cream (again). 6. Meme-Approval Rating: 11/10 Keeps your group chat lit by dropping the perfect reaction GIF before you even know you need one. 7. Judgment Suspension Valve: ...